You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
