Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
