I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
