last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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