Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
