There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
