I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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