he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
