I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Never joke about your clitoris.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
