just come out here and I will go home with you...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
