He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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