I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
