bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Less talking, more tequila
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
