K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
