Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fuck appropriateness.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
