you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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