I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You ruined the universe
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
