I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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