Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you had me at cake vodka
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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