lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
