In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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