You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
