yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
