wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
