If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
