I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
