hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
