This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
