i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
