just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
