she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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