yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
