I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
