i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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