K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
