I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
