Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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