the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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