Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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