Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
