I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
