shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
