she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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