How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
