The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
