Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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