matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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