i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
