Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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