Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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