sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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